So Long Insecurity

"So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend To Us."  by Beth Moore

I don't know about you, but when I read the title of this book, it just about jumped out and bit me. I will admit, I have wrestled with insecurity as long as I can remember--no matter how absurd or out of touch with reality it may seem.

Just today, we took our car in to be serviced. John, me, Barrett & Vivienne. Coats, boots, hats, stroller, diaper bag and all. We own a nice car, bought it used (eh-hem, sorry, pre-owned), so it's much nicer than anything we would be able to afford otherwise. When we take it to the dealer I always feel a little insecure. Like I don't belong and somehow they know it. Barrett walked into the dealership first, and I was instantly uncomfortable as the guy on the floor wasn't all that friendly. I immediately believed he was thinking, "Great, check out this riff-raff coming our way." I felt small, embarrassed and insecure.

I had to do a little self-talk to get myself back on track. Lauren, we're just here to get the car serviced. You're not pretending to be anybody, you're not doing anything wrong, you're here with your amazing little family, these little people and John are all that matter. You are a woman with substance, maturity, hold your head high. Plus, they are probably not thinking anything other than, "I hope this toddler doesn't eat all my gumballs." Which, I assure you, he did.

As I am entering my 30s, I've decided a few things. One, I'm going to grow into a mature, confident woman. The other is that I'm going to figure out my "look"(hair, fitness, clothes and all). Give back to others. Grow in my relationship with God and look for his path for my life.

This book felt like someone threw me a road map. Hmmm, wonder who that could have been? I know Beth from bible studies (via video) and she offers age-old wisdom, a Biblical perspective and it reads like a good girlfriend is having coffee and talking with you, face to face.

After reading it, I am feeling my confidence grow. I also gained some eye opening awakenings and I just wanted to share in case any of you out there are looking for some inner peace with your New Years Resolutions. My library even had it, so it was free to "check it out" (no pun intended).