Happy Old Year

As a society, I think we've lost the art of appreciation. Pausing, looking back, taking a deep breath and appreciating the road behind us. Today is the last day of 2010 and before I get excited for the New Year, my new commitments, resolutions, excitement ahead, I want to take a trip down 2010 to see how it is exactly I got here. C'mon along too if you'd like. I apologize if this entry is a little bit boring or too personal.

• January 2010: Barrett was 7 months old. John was working as the Marketing Manager at World's Finest Chocolate. I was in the midst of my psychology masters internship, working 24 hours a week -- two 12 hour shifts on Mondays and Wednesdays, taking a class downtown on Tuesday nights and attending the Library's Wee Play class on Thursdays. I also joined my Women's Group which meets once a month to support each other in life and motherhood.
• Feb 2010: Barrett was 8 months old. John and I went on a couples retreat -- the first time we ever left Barrett for the weekend. Surprise, we got pregnant! We wouldn't know that just yet though. We started a Bible Study with our good friends Oscar and Kelley for Lent.
• March 2010: Barrett was 9 months old. My period is late. I took 3, maybe 5?, pregnancy tests and told John the news--who barked out laughing when I told him. Classic. Doctor confirmed the pregnancy. I thought I had a miscarriage, doctor then confirmed again. Everything was good to go. My brother was in his senior year at Carelton College and played a lacrosse game in Wheaton, so we got a fun visit!
• April 2010: Barrett's 10 months old. I'm 3 months pregnant. My friend Andrea finds out she's pregnant! We're 8 weeks apart (note, she still hasn't had her baby yet as I write this, so exciting!) We attended my niece's 1st Communion. I turned in a huge, whopper project for grad school.
• May 2010: Barrett's 11 months old. I'm 4 months pregnant. My psychology internship is complete on May 5 (Cinco de Mayo). I go to Chili's with a fellow colleague to celebrate. I begin a freelancing project with Edelman, my former career in Public Relations. I attend a client meeting, and begin working from home everyday on a fun mushroom project. My little brother graduated college. We took a hellish 8-hour car trip to watch him in cap and gown. Well worth it.
• June 2010: Barrett's 1 year old!!! I'm 5 months pregnant. We have Barrett's FIRST BIRTHDAY party. A week before that, we find out we're having a GIRL. It's a banner month in the Schifferdecker house. John starts to job hunt.
• July 2010: Barrett's 13 months old. I'm 6 months pregnant. We take our first family vacation to Lake of the Ozarks and visit John's parents for the week. We spend half of the vacation preparing for an upcoming job interview John has scheduled. My little brother leaves for South America to live his life...an adventure he tells us. Adventure is out there!
• August 2010: Barrett's 14 months old. I'm 7 months pregnant. I learn I have Gestational Diabetes after 3 failed glucose tests. I meet with the endocrinologist, the diabetes educator, the nutritionist. My life is consumed with diabetes. Barrett begins gymnastics class! My friend Heather gives birth to her baby boy, Brayden, 12 weeks early (we were due around the same time). I visit her in the NICU, feel scared, sad, lots of prayers.
• September 2010: Barrett's 15 months old. I'm 8 months pregnant. I turn 29 years old! I begin insulin. I also begin weekly NSTs (non-stress-tests) for the baby. Testing my blood, urine and I begin walking every morning with Barrett. John and I begin going to our little church regularly. John has an interview with another company.
• October 2010: Barrett's 16 months old. I'm 9 months pregnant (38 weeks). VIVIENNE IS BORN!!!!!! October 28, 2010. John has multiple interviews now with different companies. He's received a few offers, continues to interview....consuming a lot of time and energy. All worth it, we've got another mouth to feed! And, an adorable one at that.
• November 2010: Barrett's 17 months old. Vivienne is 1 month old. John turns 32 years old! My due date (Nov. 11) comes and goes while I change diapers and nurse. My mother-in-law comes to help us. John and I get the stomach flu from Barrett. Chaos covers the house like a blanket.
• December 2010: Barrett's 18 months old (Christmas is his half-birthday). Vivienne is 2 months old. Vivienne's 1st Christmas!! John completes the interview processs and accepts a position as the Corporate Marketing Director at a company he loves and is closer to home. It's a big move for his career and I can officially stay home with the kids.

A lot has happened this year--both good and bad. But when I look at it all, I just feel an overwhelming sense of joy and blessings from God. You may not be able to see it in the details, but this year I have re-connected to God and my sense of spirit. It has been an amazing and awakening journey. I feel invigorated. Ready for the next year ahead.

Blessings to you. May the next year be filled with feelings, both good and bad. Live loud. Feel everything. Enjoy the ride.

Santa's Pep Talk

My, my a lot changes in one year. Year one (featured before a serene shot of Barrett 6 months old, looking much like a deer in the headlights. Little did we know, little miss Vivienne was soon to be on her merry way shortly after this picture was taken.

This year, Barrett's 18 months and Vivienne's 2 months old. I was excited to be able to talk to Barrett and prep him for the exciting trip ahead. I had him saying, "Santa" and "ho ho ho" all morning before departing from the mall. I was also excited to have a little girl to dress up! What is it about bows that just makes everything magical?

When Santa arrived he came through the line ringing bells, waving to the children and saying hello, ho, ho, ho and Merry Christmas. This Santa is amazing. Needless to say, Barrett had a different impression when left to sit in his lap for a photo. Maybe something like, kidnapper that doesn't believe in milk...or even worse, doesn't know what totchoties (toddler translation: cookies) are.

Barrett flipped. Vivienne watched. I sweat.

In fact, I must have looked so stressed out, that Santa asked me to come back after the picture was done. One reason, he still had Vivienne on his lap. The security guards must have tipped him off that I can be a bit forgetful as I was asked "Mam, is that your baby? And your purse in the stroller?" Yes, I know, I know. I was horrified he called me M'am too. Ick.

Santa said, "Mom, stand up." I couldn't follow this command, it was simply too confusing for me as I was crouched next to him and the kids. "Stand up." I stood. "Now, take a deep breath. You're doing a great job." I almost started crying. Santa really was bringing Christmas to all. Just the gift I needed this year. A deep breath and a little pat on the back.

Thank you Santa. You can skip our house this year, use your time on more worthy moms ..... to all you out there. Merry Christmas and remember -- you're doing a great job. Keep your head held high....you're the only you out there.

Want $50 for preggo/baby stuff??

I am proud to announce my first reader contest!!!

For anyone out there reading my blog -- now it might finally pay off! If you're having a baby, or had a baby--you have got to check out Due Maternity Boutique (www.duematernity.com). They recently redesigned their website, 7 years after opening their doors, or should I say "windows"? Get it? Sorry for the dorky internet joke.

To celebrate their re-design, they've decided to offer a handful of blogger readers (yes, this could be you!) a $50 gift certificate. I have to say, the site is clean, easy-to-use and carries high-end and essential baby stuff like Storksak, Fleurville, JJ Cole, The First Years, Petunia Pickle Bottom and Lamaze.

I couldn't believe they chose me to give out a gift certificate that I get to share with you! I feel like a proud mama watching my baby (blog) walk down the hallway in a single-file-line going off to kindergarten for the first time. [Enter tears and soft sobs as I imagine Barrett going to school for half the day without me.]

So here's how it works. Post a comment and let me know that you'd like the $50 gift certificate. Better if you tell me WHY or how cool you think Due Maternity is (totally kidding) but seriously make it a good one! These nice folks just want to share the baby goods with y'all. Yes, I just said y'all. I think the winter is bringing out some Southern wander lust.

I know most of you don't like to comment, just read. That's totally cool. But if you want a chance to win, just holla. Y'hear? :) Still on the Southern kick. Dang, this is kinda fun to type in a draw. Giddyup.

First Tea at the Drake

Every year my mom and I go to Tea at the Drake downtown Chicago. It's magical during Christmas with a harpist, Christmas decorations, water fountain and sometimes live carolers. I love Tea anytime of year, but Christmas is especially dear to my heart. This year, we brought Vivienne for the first time! Three generations of women: my mom, her daughter, and her daughter's daughter.

While we wern't able to sit in the coveted seats by the water fountain, and I had to nurse her right when the finger sandwiches came, all in all it was so special to have MY daughter at Tea. After all these years of me being the daughter in the scenario, it was really special and confusing to be both the mother AND daughter in this outing.

Ironically, John's sister (my sister-in-law) Kate was having Tea with her friends just one table over. It was fun to see her too! Lucky little Vivienne got to be with her grandma, mama and auntie all in one afternoon.

In a few years, we'll definitely start the American Girl Doll tradition just a block over. I cannot wait!

Silent Night

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

I have sang this hymn every year, but never stopped to think about the meaning. It's about a sweet, silent, sleeping infant. Now, I understand just how precious that really is. No matter what happens in the day -- screaming kids, milk spilled, socks soaked, bumps, bruises, boredom, exhaustion -- when I see Barrett and Vivienne sleeping everything dissolves and the only thing left is an overwhelming feeling of love and joy...And even a little sadness as I realize another day's complete and they're one day older than yesterday. And in that day is moments, minutes and memories that we'll never be able to relive again. Time can be such a cruel friend.

I am happy to report that Vivienne has slept almost through the night the last four nights (INSERT EXCLAMATION POINT HERE). I'm worried it will change, but I think for the most part we have turned a corner. She hasn't been as fussy, we think the Zantac is starting to kick in. Vivienne is still pretty clingy--she loves to be with me, hang, and nurse nurse nurse, but she isn't screaming and kicking her legs in pain.

Great news for all. And, to all a good night!

Hazed by Life

In many sororities and fraternities there is a "Hell Week." It's a period of time before you're accepted into the sisterhood or brotherhood and granted the sacred privileges that accompany the fraternity. You are hazed to test your commitment and to bond you with your fellow pledge class. At least I think that's the purpose. It's also possible that the seniors just want to have some fun.

I realized this morning that I am being hazed by life during this blissful season of babyhood. No sleep. Little food. No sleep. Mental and emotional stress. Poopy diapers. Seclusion. No sleep. Loud noises directly applied to the ears. The "Cry-Down." Limited physical activity. No sleep. Physical torture activities. Did I mention: NO SLEEP?

Perhaps life is asking me to prove myself before I get to "the good stuff" similar to those wise frat boys. Perhaps I'm supposed to bond with my fellow inmates, I mean my fellow family. Perhaps God is just laughing at me and knows that one day I'll be laughing at this all when I look back and tell stories about "those days" when my 2 kids were under the age of 2.

No matter what the reason, all I can say is that this is harder than I thought! And, at times (not as many) easier than I thought. I've been humbled. It's been a full month since I gave birth to this little beauty and I'm still trying to figure it out. One of my funny things--no matter what time of day or night--when I'm really struggling I dress Vivienne up in a darling outfit so I remember how much I wanted a baby girl. When John comes home and finds that she's in a little tutu, he knows it's been a rough day. How can you be mad at something so cute???

Vivienne has acid reflux (colic) so she tends to cry through the entire night and frankly a lot of the day. Like all of us, she has good and bad days. Last night I was pacing the living room until 3:30 a.m. and then she woke up at 4:30 to feed. I put her down around 5:15 a.m. and Barrett woke up for the day at 7:00 a.m. Basically, I got about 2 hours of sleep. Now, I can handle that without complaining, but it's been a month. A month. So, now I'm complaining. I'm tired. And during the day, I have very little time for myself.

John and I were laughing this morning when he stopped brushing his teeth to tell me that he is getting a vasectomy today. Not true. At least not yet. The #3 is still on the table for discussion. We've decided to wait until Vivienne is 18 months old to decide if we're closin' up shop or not. It's any one's guess what we'll do at this point.

The good stuff? Vivienne is smiling. Every once in a while, when I talk to her holding her little face away from mine, she'll just look in my eyes and smile. Melt. My. Heart. And. Put. Butter. On. My. Toast. This is so dang cute. Makes it all worthwhile!

In other news:

• I officially got my Masters Degree diploma for Psychology!


• John left World's Finest Chocolate ... no more chocolate, but more opportunity


• Vivienne is in the 95th percentile for her height/weight (just like big bro Barrett)


• Barrett is helping around the house--cleaning windows, putting away silverware from the dishwasher, wiping the floors down when he spills

We're healthy. We're happy (most of the time). We're trying to slow down time. We're trying to speed up time. We're hanging in there.