Home Birth

Last week I was invited by my friend Kelley to be part of her birth team. I think that is one of the most sacred and intimate times in a person's life, so I did not take this invitation lightly. I was pumped to help support her in her journey of a natural birth, and she upped the ante and had it at home.

I got a text around 7 p.m. while I was leading a therapy session. It said Kelley had gone into labor, they were calling their midwives to examine her and they'd keep me posted. Cue the adrenaline. At 9 p.m. I got a text that Kelley's water broke and that the midwives said it could be a while, or it could be soon. I didn't want to err on the conservative side, so I put on my sports bra, sweats, grabbed a pillow and blanket and hopped in the car. When I got to the house, it was quiet and dark. Kelley was in her bedroom. There were 3 midwives there and I noticed 4 big pots boiling on the stove. I introduced myself and fought the urge to bolt back to Kelley's bedroom, swing the door wide open and announce the good news, "I'm HERE!" Instead I just texted Oscar (her husband) to let her know I had arrived and would be there if they needed me, he came out and said hello, but there was not a lot of action at this point. So the midwives took shifts sleeping on the couch, while two of them were talking in a low whisper at the table about her stats and stuff. I too grabbed a couch and nuzzled up. It reminded me a little bit of sleepovers as a kid, so exciting, so different, not my bed. I found it hard to sleep because I was so excited. I even noticed my stomach felt like it was stirring, it reminded me of my birth with Barrett. At about 4 in the morning, there still wasn't a ton of action. I went home and the midwives assured me they'd call if anything happened.

The next day, Thursday, I stayed in contact with Kelley and Oscar by texting. She was doing great, walking around, having breakfast with her daughter. At 6 p.m. I got the next text, looks like Kelley's really getting started now and you can come over. I got in my comfy gear and bolted. When I got there, you could tell the mood of the house had shifted. She was really working now. Everyone was bustling about and you could hear Kelley in the back bedroom. I was pumped!!! I waited to get the call back there again. I enjoyed some awesome tea and got to know Oscar's mom. All the women were talking about their birth stories or births they had witnessed. I felt very connected to everyone, there was a power surging through the house, a feminine power. I was able to bring Kelley something to drink and saw her briefly. She was working hard, laboring to get the baby down. I was only in the room for a few minutes and returned to the kitchen. I was completely okay if she didn't need me or call me back, but I secretly was hoping to get some game time. I had my war paint on and was ready for battle.

Then, at about 9 p.m., Oscar came out and said, "Lauren, will you come back?" I was so excited. I got goosebumps and felt my whole body vibrating with energy. I sat on a ball next to Kelley, while she was on the bed. Oscar left the room for a little, and we had some time to really powwow and take it to the next level. I shared with her the secrets that helped me get through "the wall" (as runners would call it). I felt like we were channelling ancient women who had gone before us, paving the way. I imagined them like stars circling us, giving us energy in this sacred right of passage. Birth. In Africa, the women of the tribe gather around and sing while the woman labors. I was imagining something like that, women in a circle with their arms connected providing us safety and power to go to the next level. It was one of the most spiritual moments I've experienced. I prayed for Kelley silently in between contractions. I held her hand and was so excited when she put some power into my hand while she contracted. She was a rock. A warrior. After laboring for such a long time, she really had to dig deep to find the energy to take her to the next level.

I found myself pushing with her. I made the sounds I did during my own birth, low and in your diaphragm, rather than in your throat. I stayed by Kelley's side the rest of the night. The women tended to her every need, pulling her hair out of her face, putting a cool washcloth on her forehead, feeding her banana, putting a drink up to her mouth with a straw....and most of all believing in her. I was in the room when her son arrived and when she turned around and said, "what is it!?" then Oscar said, "it's a boy!" I cried when she scooped him up in her arms and said, "well hello, how are you?" You could see the instant connection, you could see the miracle of creation in an instant. As he took his first breath, first cry, first glowing look at his mama, it was unbelievable. The room was a celebration, and I felt unbelievably lucky to have been part of it. I have been replaying the magic over and over in my head since that day, and each time I feel energized.

Now, please don't read this and think I'm anti any other birth processes. I love all birth stories. I know everyone has to find their own way and that journey is beautiful. I just happened to believe there is power, sacred spirituality and many benefits in the natural way of life. But, I also know that sometimes it's just not possible! So, no matter what ladies, blessings to you on your journey -- whether your first birth is ahead of you, or behind you. We are all connected as women.

If you're considering a natural child birth or would like to know more, I'd be more than happy to talk/email with you one-on-one.